By Popular Demand...

My English Tense Poem!

TENSION

I’m really feeling rather tense.

These English verbs - they make no sense!

I know there are these grammar rules,

But the speaker always seems to choose

How he or she sees the action,

I’m afraid it’s giving me a nasty reaction.

Look at the future, please do!

Can you explain it to me, you?

These strange tenses, all snaky and sinuous,

Don’t get me started on the future continuous!

I understand ‘will have been’,

But what’s this ‘will have been being’

I’m seeing?

You think the present’s easy?

I tell you, it makes me queasy!

I think ‘I get up at 6 every day’

Is alright, it’s OK,

But ‘I arrive at 6 tomorrow’?

No, no, no –no way!

The present perfect leaves me confused.

Have you ever seen all the rules?

I know I saw him yesterday.

So why can I say

‘I’ve seen him’, eh?

Now, modal verbs – you must be joking!

Must, may and might leave me choking.

I can write, ‘He could be home’,

But ‘He can be home’

Only makes my teacher groan.

‘But ‘could’ is past, isn’t that right?’

‘We can use ‘could’ to be polite!’

As for conditionals-well, I’d like to explain

But honestly, they’re a right pain:

So ask me, please don’t:

I would if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t.

So now I’m going to do what I should have done first –

Learn French – I’m sure it can be no worse….

Copyright © Paul Gallantry 2005.